INTP and ESFP – Compatibility, Relationships, and Friendships - Personality Growth
I don't study Socionics, but--interestingly enough--I stumbled upon their relationship compatibility chart. INTP and ESFP are 'dual partners:'. An in-depth analysis of INTP relationships and INTPs' compatibility with other personality types. Any experience with this? Does it work? How to know if an ESFP likes you? I have this one ESFP girl I am into but she gives me mixed signals.
The ESFP tends to use this inner guidance as a force to express themselves in the world. Perceiving and Perceiving Two perceivers are likely to want to go with the flow with things.
- INTP Relationships, Love & Compatibility
They may leave things open to the last moment and just take things as they come. This can lead to procrastination and lack of initiative to actually hang out.
However, these relationships are typically low pressure and tend to have lower conflict levels. The INTP prefers to leave time for decisions instead of coming to an immediate conclusion. The INTP prefers new experiences and flexible possibilities to predictable moments. The ESFP prefers to leave time for decisions instead of coming to an immediate conclusion. Since then, I have had the fear as one might suspect if they think of the INTP as nerdy or socially awkward that I was boring her, and that she would leave she is somewhat flightybut her persistence has flattered me and I have, as I believe any INTP must in this sort of relationship, put my fears aside.
I know that she often feared she was not my intellectual equal, or that she appeared undignified to me. But these things have not applied to us. I do not know if she feels the same way, but I have felt motivated by her to improve my dress and organization although she forgives me my lapses as well as to be active. I have learned to cook and dance. I often feel that she has standards that if I am to keep her, I must meet. I have no problem with this. I think the ESFP partner feels compelled to show appreciation for the INTP not primarily by meeting some imagined standards, but through encouragement and gifts and ideas.
Lifestyle is another vastly important consideration in relationships. While INTPs can be quite flexible when it comes to living arrangements, they often prefer a partner who can live on less rather than more. Decisions to get married, have children, or purchase an expensive home can create a sense of obligation and diminished freedom that INTPs can come to regret.
In selecting an intimate partner, INTPs should be careful not to imbue their emotions with too much weight or decision-making power. It is therefore important that INTPs not give their Fe the upper-hand in selecting a long-term partner. While having positive feelings toward an individual is certainly important, INTPs are better off using their top two functions Ti and Ne to determine the potential merits of a given relationship in light of their personal goals and values, as well as typological compatibility.
As I discuss elsewhere, it is common for all types to use various crutches to appease or placate their inferior function. INTPs may crutch their Fe, including their fear of being alone or unloved, by persisting in mediocre or codependent relationships.
Since INTPs are prone to doubting whether true love exists, many continue in tepid relationships, feeling themselves without the strength or courage to leave and start over. So instead of leaving or working on the relationship, they focus their attention on their Ti pursuits, allowing the relationship to function as a mere background crutch for their Fe.
Because of the inferior position of their Fe, INTPs also run the risk of devaluing their partners and relationships. When in Ti mode, their Fe feelings can recede far into the background of their consciousness.
INTP and ESFP – Compatibility, Relationships, and Friendships
This can allow doubts about the relationship to emerge, such as thinking they are self-sufficient and unneeding of the relationship.
In many cases, their work is granted greater priority, leading them to neglect their relationships if their work quota has not been met. Since they themselves are inner rule-makers, INTPs are prone to assuming that their partners harbor certain expectations of them i.
When INTPs fail to voice their relational concerns, they may inwardly, even if unwittingly, begin to wall themselves off or inwardly rebel against their partners. Rather than expressing themselves directly, they may turn to passive-aggressive forms of expression. So unless INTPs are careful to ensure open and honest communication in their relationships, they can end up crippling themselves and their relationships through their own assumptions and imaginings about their partners.
Because of difficulties associated with their inferior, perceived or actual shortcomings in their partner, as well as the open-ended and novelty-seeking nature of their Ne, INTPs can also be prone to infidelity.
This propensity can be greatly reduced, however, if INTPs can find satisfaction in their work, choose their lifestyle carefully, select a suitable partner according to the criteria outlined earlier, regularly remind themselves of why they are in the relationship and why they chose their partner, and are committed to personal and relational growth and development. While harmony can certainly be a part of a healthy relationship, it really has little to do with genuine intimacy or effective communication.
When couples are working through these issues, moments of disharmony are all but inevitable. In working to develop better communication in their relationships, INTPs need to become more aware of when they are acting out of fear, as well as when they are not telling the whole truth to their partner.
Toward this end, INTPs can benefit from analyzing their past relationships to see where they failed to be honest or forthright in their communication. INTPs may feel like their partners are finding fault with them or seeing their expressions of love as inadequate.